I wished I could play the piano. (I lacked the talent and the discipline it required to make it happen.) I wished I could socialize easily and be popular. (I was a shy introvert a.k.a. "wallflower".) I wished I could speak in public. (I was embarrassed and went blank for words in front of a group.) I thought God overlooked me when He generously gifted others. Nevertheless I surrendered my life wholly to Jesus Christ, just as I was, thinking I was bereft of gifts.
Fast forward through high school and college years into active Christian mission work overseas and on university campuses in America among international students and administration in para-church organizations and writing and publishing and public speaking. I acquired a more mature perspective to understand that the giftings of God for ministry are not the shallow wishes of immaturity. Since God called me, the Holy Spirit generously equipped me with His unique gifts and has enabled me to carry out His will for His glory, not for my own aggrandizement.
Fast forward still further into the final season of life. Does God take away His giftings when we become weak with limitations and weary with the length of the journey and we view our opportunities as truncated? When our road narrows and we are obliged to pass the torch to others to carry on the work of God's Kingdom with their new gifts to suit the changing times?
The calling of God is without repentance, the Scripture says. He does not withdraw His call or gifts in our late calendar years but transforms them in the light of ones current circumstances. My surrender to God's will must continue to be total. I must fan into flame the gifts that He provides for my present state in life. It is only for those that I am accountable now as I live in the present moment. I no longer need some of the gifts I needed when on the front lines in my prime. He gives me support gifts of intercessory prayer and encouragement, new gifts for behind the scenes, mellowed and ripened for my "new normal."
I was encouraged by words from the Wisdom Hunters Devotional, below. When I find spiritual nourishment from the words of others, I like to share it. I am reminded that if God's gifts within me are burning to low embers, I should take the stick of faith and stir them up into flame for my present season of life.