OBSERVATIONS FROM AN E.R. GURNEY

Everything seems distorted from a horizontal position.

This is my first ever adventure to arrive in style at the hospital in a 911 royal coach. (I requested no siren. Let's not have any fuss...)

The ceiling of a Rescue Squad ambulance has interesting things hanging down from it which serve to distract my attention while I'm being strapped down.

They connect me to various and sundry lines. My b.p. is being monitored and I'm asked all kinds of stupid questions. (The big, brawny men who lifted me into this vehicle from my comfy bedroom ought to know what day and year it is and who is our president! The main dude wants to know exactly what I ate at the restaurant last night with my family. Oh yeah, guess he is trying to account for all the barfing that I've been doing from both ends for the past 24 hours.)

Let's just get moving, guys, and save the questions and paperwork until we get to the E.R. and get me some attention quickly!

I don't think they should inform me that my b.p. is “through the roof”... OF COURSE that makes it go even higher with the stress of knowing that! Why is it hot as an oven in here, don't they have any a/c?

I don't feel obligated to laugh at their petty jokes under the circumstances.

I can watch the familiar highway go by from the rear picture window.....it's a rough ride and makes me dizzy to be riding backward. I don't think this vehicle has any shock absorbers. Why is the big guy asking me to smile and hold my hands palms up in front of me, close my eyes and touch my nose? I don't feel like it, but I comply and he looks pleased. Go figure.

Eventually we get to the hospital and the fun begins.

I'm plugged into more things that go beep and lights that flash and I become monitored on several screens.

It's cold; I need a blanket. Why don't they take off my shoes?

Ah, at last I'm getting rehydrated from that transparent bag that hangs above me. Hope that helps my light-headedness. Why don't they give me some real water with ice too?

They said that's not permitted until a “real” doctor appears to evaluate me. More paperwork, more questions. I feel like dozing off....but the lights are so bright I could be on a Broadway stage with kleig lights.

Technicians of various specialties keep coming in and out of my cubicle and peering at the monitors.

Hours later (I must have dozed after all) the conclusion is probable stomach flu or food poisoning.

I'm deemed stable enough to be discharged and continue recovery at home with a fist full of prescriptions and lists of diet restrictions.

Don't want to think about food anyway. Just bring on more of that Gatorade.

I feel so weak that I welcome being pushed in the wheelchair to my son's car and can hardly wait until I'm rolled onto my own bed at home where I'll stay—until my next frequent run to the bathroom.

MY CONCLUSIONS AFTER THIS UNEXPECTED “EARTH SUIT” DISORDERED EVENT?

Life is fragile and uncertain, at best.

It is a short timeline from a calm, happy feeling of well-being to flat on my back, helpless, and not in control of anything.

Too much of my happiness is tied to the state of my interior plumbing, and electricity, my frame (which is actually only clay), and all the marvelous bodily infrastructure which God thought up when he created me and set my body into human motion meant to last from my conception until I have finished my earthly course according to God's plan and timeline. Imagine! How long my body has really lasted with modest maintenance!

Things I focused on so urgently a few brief hours ago seem to fade into non-concern after a little bodily turbulence.

I'm conscious of putting too much of my attention on things of this passing world and passing, terminal mortal life.

Eternal matters ought to assume greater priority over the temporal.

My EARTH SUIT is, after all, combustible flesh. It will disintegrate. My SPACE SUIT, my God-breathed soul, is what is durable, eternal, and should receive my greater attention.

Okay, there are more deep thoughts I have been thinking about during this brief “mortality tap on the shoulder,” but brain fog seems to be taking over right now.

MAYBE I NEED A FEW MORE BOTTLES OF GATORADE..and crackers and chicken broth!