Living Through the “Not Yet”

Sometimes I feel as if I'm waiting for God to act and He seems to be doing nothing. I've heard it said, “When you are down to nothing, God is up to something.” But I'm frustrated in a “waiting room” stance. 

I want my answer yesterday. I'm stuck in the cement of my time zone. I want to hurry although God's divine four letter word seems too often to be “wait.” I might suspect that Satan is trying to hinder me, and sometimes he is, but not always. He can't stop what God has ordained for my life.

It's hard to live in God's “not yet,” although I know that is one way He answers prayer besides a yes or a no. I fret while I'm in the hall waiting for doors to open into rooms of His favor. Am I able to trust God and praise Him while waiting? Able or not, God allows me at times to linger in this transition gap of “not yet” even if it stretches out for a prolonged time. To our Eternal God it is only a moment.

I know that God really is active in my now, although I don't observe it with my senses. It may not be His “due season” yet, nor His “fullness of time.” I may complain that it is painful and difficult to hang suspended in the “not yet.” Nevertheless, how I respond and handle myself during that period is critical.

I might not be ready for His blessing. God might need to work on me to prepare me to receive what He has in store for me. God may be setting up the circumstances that have to be in place before the time is ripe to bring me into the season of His favor. I can't shorten the waiting period, but I can lengthen it by lack of trust in Him and being rebellious in my waiting period. It will only last as long as He has planned.

I must be careful not to run ahead during my “not yet” time and do my own thing instead of waiting for God to act. Biblical examples are many, and we are shown the consequences and catastrophes of forging ahead without His certain orders. Think of Abraham barging ahead and fathering Ishmael without waiting for Sarah to conceive the promised Isaac. 

Those of us in our senior years who are climbing toward the pinnacle of our summit of life tend to be especially impatient. We are aware that our earth-time is short and there is no time to waste. We are inclined to be restless and impulsively take action without waiting for God because He appears to be dragging His feet. Do we forget that He has the eternal perspective and sees the due time already? There can be no “not yet” with Him.

The Lord wants me to wrap up my faith and trust in Him with expectation and watch for His moving hand, expect the unexpected, and the “exceeding above what we can ask or think.” My waiting room is also my examining room. I must examine myself to be sure I'm doing obediently all that He has already told me to do. Am I up-to-date in my relationship with Him? I'm not simply marking time. I must restfully accept this “not yet” transition period as a gift from Him, an opportunity to enjoy my present season of circumstances which He planned for my good and for His glory.

Dr. Andrew Murray, a “Protestant saint” well-known to many Christians over several generations, a missionary statesman and prolific author of what are called deeper spiritual life teachings on the interior life, wrote: “In times of uncertainty, doubt, or in a waiting period, say, 'I am here by God's appointment, in His keeping, under His training, and for His time.'”

It is pointless to spend my “not yet” time fretting, sweating, stewing, biting my nails, running ahead, or wearing a spot on the carpet with impatient pacing. If I think that nothing is happening, I must remember that “nothing is impossible with God.”

EXCHANGING PRESENTS

We do it every morning. God and I keep exchanging PRESENTS! 

I “PRESENT my body as a living sacrifice to God” as the Apostle Paul specifically pleaded with us in Romans 12:1. He calls it “my reasonable service of worship.” Certainly this is reasonable. God already gave me a heap of PRESENTS: God created me, breathed life into me, sustained me for 91 years and counting, and planned from before the foundation of the world the good works which I should be doing (Ephesians 1:4 and 2:10).

Next it's my turn: I PRESENT myself entirely and in detail to God. “Here I am, Lord, I'm here to do Your will, to carry out those works I'm supposed to be doing that will be to the praise of Your glory” (Ephesians 1:12, 14).

God is the abundant Blesser, the Ultimate Giver of Gifts, PRESENTS, (Ephesians 4:7,8) always going overboard in His generosity. (1 Corinthians chapters 12-14) He is the Enabler, giving me an armload of Gifts of the Spirit to assist me in doing His will including the wisdom and strength for their accomplishment. He knows my human frame and takes in consideration the season of my life and my changing, sometimes diminishing opportunities and adjusts His expectations and PRESENTS accordingly. (1 Corinthians 7:7b) In each of my calendar seasons He gives me new challenges and possibilities.

Each PRESENT He gives me is fashioned exactly to my need as I cooperate with Him to build up the Church, the Body of Christ. (Romans 12:6-8). He doesn't intend that I should hug his PRESENTS to myself. “As each one has received a special gift (PRESENT), employ it in serving one another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God” (1 Peter 4:10).

And if I live and work for Him while growing the spiritual Fruit of the Spirit (Galatians chapter 5) and there is fruit that results from my service, I have great joy in giving back to Him as a PRESENT a basket full of spiritual fruit for the praise of the glory of His grace. 


This exchange of PRESENTS is so exciting day by day because my circumstances and opportunities are new every morning!

Here's how it goes: I use the PRESENTS God gives me to serve others in the Body of Christ--He intends for me to give them away. But there is one PRESENT He wants me to keep--HIS PRESENCE never leaves me. "Lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age....I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Matthew 28:20).

To top it off, God gives me the PRESENT of THIS PRESENT MOMENT to do His will today!

HIS PRESENT AND MINE

God is in my now

this moment is His

and His this day

so I must turn

from yesterday

and not expect

to live in retrospect

looking over my shoulder

to see either ghosts

of days gone by

or dwell

on pleasant memories.

God is in my now

so all of daily life

is holy ground

each duty crowned

as a royal moment

by the PRESENCE of The King.

My burning bush

is my PRESENT state

where God speaks to me

in the PRESENT tense

declaring “I AM.”

Because He lives

I celebrate now!

On this holy thought

I meditate

and find my joy

TODAY!

--Leona Choy

WISDOM FROM MY KITCHEN TIMER

My chiropractor set me up: “Sitting too long at the computer stresses your back and legs and irritates all the nerves connected with them.”

I already know that. But I’m a writer. When I become immersed in the creative process of words and thoughts, I ignore time. Before I realize it, hours have slipped by. And yes, my body shouts about it. It hurts!

“Set your kitchen timer and get up and move every hour. The you can return to your writing renewed,” he advised.

“Okay, I’ll give it a try.” It took awhile to establish that good habit because often I continued to ignore the irritating jangle-buzz of the timer that startled me and I kept right on writing. I'm learning, but I haven’t totally succeeded yet. Eventually I do head for the door with my sunglasses and cell phone, the latter at the insistence of my sons who always warn me about falling and breaking a hip!

It really isn't a forced march; it's an escape from my own chosen confinement. When summertime elbows spring aside, I give in to the siren call of the warm, affectionate sun kissing my cheek, the gentle breeze ruffling my hair, the intoxicating fragrance first of honeysuckle, then the scent of sprouting pine, then peonies, then lilacs, then roses—overwhelming my senses. 

Lord, I notice! I notice and appreciate Your seasonal cycle established from the beginning of creation and continuing to nurture me in my vintage season of life.

As a teenager I had to memorize the poem by James Russell Lowell, “What is so rare as a day in June? Then, if ever, come perfect days. Then heaven tries earth if it be in tune and over it softly her warm ear lays....” What a sensory expression! The words moved me in my youth, and I can embrace and encore the feeling even now as a great-grandmother. 

 

As a child I soaked myself deliciously in the release and relief of summer vacation from school. Those were lazy, hazy, days when I enjoyed doing nothing and going nowhere special. I understood the true meaning of leisure. Bored was not in my vocabulary. With neighborhood kids I always found more than enough to occupy each day. In that long ago era, we even hiked in the woods and brought along sandwiches and a bottle of pop for an impromptu picnic by a bubbling stream. It was parent-permitted and considered safe. We brought home tadpoles in the empty pop bottle filled with pond water to monitor the progress of the frog cycle. At night there were lightning bugs to catch on the lawn and capture into jars while grownups gathered on porches with neighbors for small talk and to cool off in a captured breeze. 

 

I can experience that feeling again in bite-size pieces when my kitchen timer goes off. I wear a pedometer and in a measured mile I can condense some of the sensory delights of my childhood. I am still alive and my Creator, Savior, Redeemer, Provider, Sustainer, who holds my breath in His hands, is within me, beside me, going before me, drawing me ever closer to Himself. Moreover, He has my back. 

 

THERE GOES THE BUZZER! It's my signal to get up and go. Won't you come walk with me? After the rarity of June comes the sweltering heat of high July and with it even more of God's creation variety to revel in as summer morphs into amazing autumn with its splendid splashes of colors and the thoughts of first flakes of snow not far behind. Always more for which to bless God!

HEARING VOICES

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying...(Isaiah 5:9). Oh, I wish I could hear God's voice as clearly as they seemed to in Old Testament days. Was it actually audible? Scripture doesn't tell us. How did they know it was His voice? There are so many other voices bombarding me so that it sounds like static in the ears of my heart.

Yet Jesus said, “My sheep hear My voice and I know them, and they follow Me” (John 10:27) Earlier in the chapter He said “they know His voice” and that other sheep which are not of this fold will also hear His voice when He brings them into the fold. Jesus uses the comparison of sheep for His followers.

I've heard that by sheep herding custom several shepherds bring their flocks into a common shelter, a sheep fold, for protection at night. When their own shepherd calls them out in the morning, they recognize his voice and distinguish it so well that each responds to follow only its own shepherd. They have been trained from their lamb-hood days to recognize it. As an elderly “ewe” I ought to know my Good Shepherd's voice since I have been listening to it from my lamb-hood.

There are many other voices that compete for my attention: The voice of my own desires, the voices of other people who seek to influence me, the voice of the evil one who seeks to lead me astray, and the voices of my culture and society. I need the Holy Spirit's gift of discernment to sort them out. Above all, I need continual practice in listening so I will recognize His voice and follow Him when making any decision, in fact for every aspect of my daily living.

In many cases the problem isn't that God is not speaking, but that I am not listening. Or I have neglected to keep tuned to the right frequency. “His ear is not heavy that it cannot hear” but my ears are the problem. The ears of my heart are plugged with earth matters, with temporal things. Or perhaps I am reluctant to hear His voice because I am afraid that what He says might disturb my comfort zone.

God still speaks in our times and to each of us individually through His Word and His Church, through His people, and through the circumstances of our lives. He is speaking constantly through the words of Scripture as the Holy Spirit applies them to our lives. We still might wish that He spoke more clearly like handwriting on a wall, or like Jesus' words in the Gospels in some red-letter editions of the Bible where His words are easy to recognize.

It seems that God speaks more through impressions in our minds and nudges in our spirits. These are nonetheless understandable with practice. We have to invite God to speak, to let Him know that we are listening and are willing to obey like young Samuel did in the Old Testament, “Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.” Listening is different from merely hearing.

There are some of us in advancing years who need a little assistance in hearing correctly. Voices in the higher range are not as easy to recognize as those in the lower range. We need hearing aids. The Holy Spirit is “God's hearing aid.” God's voice is “in the higher range” and that is the one that is the most imperative for me to listen to. 

“So, as the Holy Spirit says: 'Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts...'” (Hebrews 3:7). It is up to me to keep my heart soft and malleable and open to hear His voice. God might have a “now word” for me personally, and for you, right now, today. I don't want to miss it. I can hear it if I keep tuned to His frequency.

PRAYING FOR BREAD

In the popular TV comedy series, “EVERYBODY LOVES RAYMOND,” now in reruns, each time adult, married, now-a-father Raymond comes across the street from his house to the kitchen of his parents' house, the first thing his mother Marie always asks is “Are you hungry? I'll make you something to eat.”

Those of us who are Moms can relate to that, even if our children are adults and out on their own. Because we've spent their growing years preparing food for them from infancy at least through their teens, our first thought even today when they walk through our door may be the same as Raymond's Mom. We are always concerned with their proper nourishment. 

Since I'm a mom, a grandma, and a great-grandma, by this time my cooking and baking days should be minimal. But I'm still "providing bread!"

I've brought this need for bread for my family into my prayers for my four adult sons, three of whom are already fathers in their own right and two are grandfathers. In fact, I pray for bread for the rest of my family too, for my 10 grandchildren and 11 great-grandchildren, all the in-laws and the rest of our family tree. And I extend that prayer to my friends. 

I pray as Jesus taught, “Give them this day their daily bread,” from what we call “The Lord's Prayer” in Matthew 6:11. God "gives to all the living their food in due season” (Psalm 104:27, 28) and I may simply ask God for it.

Am I praying for literal bread, the flour-baked kind? No, not even necessarily for food, although that might be included in the need of the one for whom I pray, or the job to earn the bread. Jesus told us not to be anxious for what we should eat or drink. (Matthew 6:25-34) He mentioned anxiety five times in that passage. What is there about “don't be anxious” that we can't understand? We should seek first the Kingdom of God and all those things shall be added to us. 

A wider meaning of “bread” is whatever is necessary for life, whatever The Good Shepherd provides so that we “shall not want” [shall not lack]. (Psalm 23:1) “Bread” stands for “every good thing sufficient for the sustenance of life.” In praying for bread for someone, it is “for the nourishment life requires, for all appropriate goods and blessings, both material and spiritual.”

A still broader implication of my “Bread Prayer” is that the one for whom I am praying will have a growing relationship with Jesus who declared, “I am the Bread of Life; he who comes to Me shall not hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst...I am the Living Bread that came down out of heaven; if anyone eats of this bread, he shall live forever; and the bread also which I shall give for the life of the world is My flesh.” (John 6:26-58) Here Jesus' words foreshadow the Eucharist, the Lord's Supper. “My flesh is true food...he who eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal life...and abides in Me, and I in him...and shall live forever.”

When I pray for “bread today” for someone, it is not only for them to be blessed and provided for this day in mortal time for the material necessities of their pilgrimage, but also in the “today of God,” in the eternal aspect. My petition includes prayer for their eternal status with God.

Even if I'm short on time I can quickly pray, “FATHER, GIVE HIM THIS DAY HIS DAILY BREAD” when praying for my child or my friend. I don't need to go into detail with Our Father who is in Heaven and tell Him how to slice the bread I ask for.

Or whether I want Him to spread butter and jam on it. It is an all-encompassing heart prayer all in one package, one petition.

I don't know precisely what to pray for. Therefore, Jesus Himself told me how to pray and what to say. I pray His words back to Him. He is living in Heaven praying for us (Hebrews 7:25) and He knows very well how to break that bread I'm praying for, and distribute it according to the need of the one for whom I pray. He alone can satisfy whatever the hunger is in their lives.

“US WOMEN ON OUR OWN”

(A blog post "EXTRA" just tucked in for good measure)

A good friend who has suffered the loss of her husband wrote me about her experience of the Lord's provision. She had purchased a load of heavy river rock for her garden project and had to pick it up at Home Depot.

"I didn't know how I could possibly do it by myself. In my morning prayers I asked God for what I thought I needed--a "man in a truck" to help. Since no man with a truck knocked on my door before I left, I realized I would have to do it alone. Instead of providing "a man in a truck," the Lord made the loading of the heavy rock into and out of my car trunk so easy for me to do! Really amazing! 

"That's when I understood that God Himself is truly my "man in a truck" who helps me do alone what I need to do when there is truly no one to help me. My age and ailments are limiting me, but when I pray asking the Lord to be my husband during times of special need, God enables me to do it. Since then, when things get overwhelming and I'm exhausted and short on energy, I always pray for a "man in a truck" and anticipate God surprising me by how He Himself is going to look after me and provide what I need since I am a woman on my own."

What a loving, tender heart the Lord has for us women on our own who struggle with leaky faucets, roof repair, car maintenance, and the seemingly endless man-sized decisions our husbands used to handle! Yes, most of us women on our own know exactly what my friend is talking about.

Psalm 68 calls God “a father of the fatherless, a defender of the widows....” In Old Testament times people were warned, “Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.” The poor, the widow, the orphan, the alien [the stranger in the land], in fact, all defenseless people truly are objects of God's special concern and providential care.

My guess is that not all of my blog viewers, especially new viewers, are aware of the books for widows and supplemental resources for widows' support groups that I've written to help women navigate the new terrain of learning to live alone after the loss of a spouse and move toward a healthy adjustment leaning on the Lord.

I quote from one of my three published books to help such precious women:

 “I've been fatherless, even an orphan for many decades myself, and now a widow [for 24 years]. On all three counts I believe I've been qualified for God's special attention. The Lord has uniquely taken up my vulnerable case and becomes my defender, protector, shield, and fortress.

"In bygone days, it was the custom for a widow to go back to her father's house, if he were still living and had resources to care for her. She came under his protection again and looked to him for counsel and the supply of her needs, as she did when she was growing up in his household. We don't usually do that in our culture anymore. 

"However, we too, as [women on our own] are invited to go back to our Heavenly Father's house where we are under His protection and look to Him for guidance for our future. As the King's daughters we can count on God's unlimited resources for the supply of all our needs! We are safe and happy in our Father's house.

“An even closer bond is available to us. In Isaiah 54 it is written that '...your husband is your Maker, whose name is the Lord of hosts....' Although originally the passage was written for the nation of Israel, the principle may apply more broadly. Jesus is presented in the New Testament as the Bridegroom and the Church as His bride. The individual believer is part of that bride. Our personal relationship to Jesus is to be that of love. That love is strengthened as we who are [women on our own] lean heavily on Christ who now completely fills the gap left by our husband. I'm not left alone to fend for myself. I can share the intimate happenings of my life with my Maker, my husband. I can talk over my burdens, problems, and concerns with Him. I can share my joys and my hopes. I can submit my plans and decisions to Him and follow His perfect leading.

“Lord, I hereby take You as my lawful husband and provider. I DO! And death will never part us!”

Among my blog viewers I'm sure there are many hundreds of us women on our own. And I'm sure we all know about still more of them among our family and friends. At least every few days I receive phone calls and emails from someone who wants to order more copies of one of my books for “singled out” women, as I call them. Usually someone has given them a copy and they have been encouraged. Now they in turn want to give a copy to a friend or family member who has suffered a fresh loss.

I invite you to my web site www.goldenmorning.com to read a review of each of my three books on this topic and obtain ordering information. Feel free to phone me with your order, if that is more convenient. At this time I give the third book, WALK THE GREEN VALLEY, free with your order of either one or the other or both of SINGLED OUT FOR GOD'S ASSIGNMENT and THE WIDOW'S MIGHT.

Let's embrace our sisters in Christ who are women on their own with love and understanding and helpful resources. 

WEATHERING INEVITABLE STORMS

WE ALL EXPERIENCE STORMS OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER AS OUR SHIP OF LIFE MAKES ITS WAY THROUGH THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES.

Three times in Ephesians chapter 6 the Apostle Paul encourages us to “stand firm” and also to “be strong” and to “persevere.” It's so easy to lose our bearings and to “lose heart” (let our emotions run wild) when we are in the midst of a storm. (Galatians 6:9). God doesn't promise smooth sailing on calm seas while navigating our lives on earth. We need to stay the course faithfully.

We can't always avoid the wind and the waves. We must go through the storms and endure until they pass by. The medical news may not always be positive. The skill of doctors has limitations. Our prayers for our health are not always answered in the way we would wish. Inevitably our human bodies, our “earth suits,” become disordered and grow weaker instead of stronger as we age. God can heal us but He doesn't always do so. We may inevitably need to be healed from the need to be healed. We don't see the big eternal picture that God has destined for us. We must simply trust that “[Heavenly] Father knows best” and is working out the perfect plans for our lives, although it may not seem so perfect to us while we are on the earth side.

One thing is sure: we are not alone in the storm. Jesus will never leave us or forsake us. (Hebrews 13:5) Like the disciples in the sudden violent storm who were gripped with fear for their lives, we overlook the fact that Jesus is in the boat with us. We may panic because He isn't doing anything about our dilemma—just sleeping. He stilled the waves and calmed the storm in due time in His own way. Psalm 12:6-8 assures us that we should never be shaken, that our heart should be steadfast, trusting in the Lord. Then our heart will be upheld and we will not fear evil tidings.

The Psalmist gives us a vivid description of a horrendous storm in Psalm 107. We could become seasick just reading it. I call it the wits' end psalm. We all have wits' end experiences. But it ends well. “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He brought them out of their distresses. He caused the storm to be still, so that the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad because they were quiet; so He guided them to their desired haven.”

Another violent gale which the Apostle Paul described blow by blow in a you are there fashion in Acts 27. He used the word for what we call a nor'easter. The disabled ship was tossed about for 15 days until all hope was lost for the crew and passengers of soldiers and prisoners. Paul was one of the prisoners being transported to Rome for trial. God gave Paul a vision and a promise that all their lives would be saved, but the ship would be totaled. He told them all to keep up their courage, not to be afraid, that he believed God. “And they all were brought safely to land.”

Our human, mortal “ship” will one day also be “totaled” (there are no exceptions!) but our soul, our “space suit,” will be brought safely to the haven of Heaven. Jesus promised, “Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father's house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.” And JESUS IS A PROMISE KEEPER.