But
not always. In fact, at times I haven't felt like singing.
I have
been impatient, frustrated, rebellious, and stamping my feet like a
pouting child. I didn't sing a happy song while I walked through some
dark and fearsome valley or through some fire or while nearly
drowning in some flood. Like the captured people of God who were
carried away to Babylon in ancient days, I have sometimes asked how
I could be expected to sing when my heart is aching and my tears are
flowing. I've “hung my harp on a willow tree” and no song crossed
my lips.
Sometimes
I've been confused when God is silent to my prayers and seems to
overlook my urgent needs. When His hand doesn't seem to be moving on my
behalf even when I've called out to Him in desperation. Nevertheless, through long experience,
I perceive that God doesn't blow trumpets to announce His plans in
advance for the life agenda of His children. He promised that His
plans for me are good and not evil, to give me a future and a hope.
Without fanfare His plans simply unfold like the petals of a
beautiful flower—silently and fragrantly and according to His
perfect timing—for His pleasure and for my happiness too. With the
patience of His eternal Fatherhood, Abba God has put up with me
through the long life He is generously granting me. He comforts and
assures me with His eternal, unchanging, unconditional love when I misunderstand His guidance.
Hindsight is revealing. It is as if I
were blindfolded and yet walking with my hand in God's hand, trusting
Him to guide me over the rough places, avoid the detours, and draw me
on to reach His predestined goal. In my latter years I haven't wanted
to keep walking uphill; it is too tiring. My feet drag and my energy
flags.
I've even suggested to the Lord that it might be time for me to retire. But His loving silence seems to remind me that "retire" rhymes with "reach higher!" He always encourages me to press on the Upward Way, to desire More,
to stretch my spirit, to seek to draw closer to Him.
Looking in life's rear view mirror now, I'm beginning to
understand how all the experiences the Lord brought me through were
meant to position me step by step into the place and circumstances in
which I find myself now at the summit of my life. I would never have
dreamed where God's guidance would take me, but it has been all good!
A hymn familiar to me from my youthful years
as a Christian by Fanny J. Crosby, the famous
songwriter of a past century, expresses it well:
“All the way my Savior leads me;
What have I to ask beside? Can I doubt His tender mercy, Who thru
life has been my Guide? Heavenly peace, divinest comfort, Here by
faith in Him to dwell! For I know what-e’er befall me, Jesus doeth
all things well...This my song through endless ages: Jesus led me all
the way!”
When I first sang that song as a
teenager looking down the misty and idealistic corridors of time to seemingly
endless years of unknown adventures, I could not imagine what “all
the way” and “what-e’er befall me” could involve. With
youthful trust I simply put my hand in the hand of Jesus to “lead
me all the way.” He has been faithful! He has never left me or
forsaken me. Now at the summit of life with the mature trust of years, I put my
hand in the hand of Jesus to “lead me the rest of the way.”
And that is a good reason to “take
my harp off the willow tree” and sing!
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