It was the right place and
the right time but the disciple Thomas wasn't there. The other
disciples were celebrating the exhilarating presence of the risen
Jesus who suddenly appeared at their gathering. Thomas was the only one missing. We aren't told why
he was absent. Perhaps he was isolating himself, hiding somewhere
in despair and doubt. His hopes had run dry. As a follower of Christ,
he was disillusioned by the tragic outcome of the crucifixion and
death of Jesus. Why show up at all?
At times we may feel as if
we too aren't there when
God is revealing Himself to others. Most of us go through spiritual dry spells
when we feel little emotion, sense a distance from God, trudge along without
visions or thrilling brushes of angel wings which other people seem
to experience.
In our spiritual lives we sometimes feel the monotony of arid sameness and
nothing but sand dunes stretching as far as the eye can see. Our
devotion to God tends to slack off and our appetite for the sacraments
and worship and the company of God's people is dulled. To maintain
our faith and witness wearies us and begins to feel like a heavy
burden.
Are such dry times in our
spiritual lives abnormal? Should we expect to be constantly and
effervescently reveling in consolations and emotional highs? Could it
be that God is actually allowing us to go through arid times in
order to draw us closer? That seems like a
paradox. But there are such times as “dark nights of the soul.”
When I see the Lord
beckoning to me from the Dry-Land of the Desert, I confess that I
don't run toward that experience with great delight. I really don't
want to follow. I shake my head and decline His invitation. I much
prefer to lie down in green pastures and have spiritual picnics
beside the cool, still waters. I want to keep my soul revved up with
His constant nearness and feelings of pleasure. I want oasis
living all the time! I favor the burning-heart emotion of leaning
close to Jesus' breast.
But He persists to draw
me, extending His nail-scarred hand toward me. “You are missing
something precious. I have deep things to teach you while we walk
together in the Dry-Land as well as on the mountain top. Both an ebb
and flow in life are in My plan for you.”
How should I respond when
I go through such dry times, when I feel like I'm “not there”
while others are experiencing the exhilaration of the nearness of
God. A fourteenth century writer,
Blessed Angela of Foligno, offered sound spiritual counsel.
“...Do not pray less or
keep vigils less often, or do any other good works any less when
divine grace is withdrawn from you than when it is in your
possession. It is a good thing and very acceptable to God if you
[keep faithfully doing these things] even when the fervor of divine
grace seems absent...[Be just as faithful] when that grace or warmth
seems to be lacking or has been withdrawn from you—either because
of some deficit in you or, which is most often, to amplify and
increase God's grace in you.
[Continue
to] act without grace [consolations] just as you
do when you have grace. Even if you suffer tribulations or
temptations, which serve to chastise and purify every son whom the
Father receives, and grace is taken from you, be persistent in
[devotion and good works.]”
Bottom line: God wants me
to be just as faithful and steadfast when the emotional well of my
spiritual life seems dry as in the times when my heart burns within
me on life's way. In the fulness of time the apostle Thomas "was there" and received
His personalized, hands-on, unique consolation compelling him to make his
celebrated, joyful declaration of faith, “My Lord and my
God!” And Thomas “was there” when the Holy Spirit came
upon all who were assembled at Pentecost!
In God's appointed time,
we too will experience the dynamic flow of power and love after the
ebb, if we are willing to walk in desert times with Him when He calls
us there. We just need to be sure that “we are there” in the
right place at the right time and meanwhile, faithfully keep
on-keeping on until Jesus shows up for us.
Dry-Land
Lord,
I know I should be willing
to
walk in The Dry-Land
if
it's with You—
but
I'm not eager.
Actually,
I'm disinclined and reluctant
because
I sweat when it's hot
it's
not comfortable in the desert
my
tender feet burn and split
my
throat is parched
I
swallow sand and grit
hot
wind bites my fevered face.
But
I know You are trusting me
to
carry Your Living Water
the
only cup of refreshing
that
can quench the thirst
of
other travelers
who
also must journey through
the
Dry-Land
Please
give me Your grace
not
to draw back
but
to keep my eyes on Your face
and
not be slack
in
my commitment
in
my devotion to You.
If
I myself do not experience
the
blazing heat
an
aching heart
pressure
beyond measure
temptations
and trial
nor
find You sufficient
for
every mile
of
my own Dry-Land
I
would not care to share
Your
Water with another.
Accept
my weak willingness
to
walk in arid deserts
as
well as verdant valleys
that
I might become
Your
watered garden
Your
spring of refreshing
to
meet the needs of those
whose
stumbling, blistered feet
You
bid me wash (as You did)
while
all of Your children
journey
together with You
through
life's Dry-Land
****
Isaiah 58:11
"And the
Lord will...satisfy your desire in scorched
places...and
you will be like a watered garden and
like a spring
of water whose waters do not fail."
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