“GOING STEADY” WITH MY “SUGAR CANE”

I don't intend to bore you with “an organ recital” about all the not-unexpected unfixables going on in my “earth suit” body due to the blessing of longevity. This is just to let you know that I have a few new hurdles to jump over. 

Of course at age 92 I don't really jump hurdles anymore, nor do I look at them as road blocks to stop me from carrying out God's call on my life. These are the “momentary light afflictions” about which Scripture tells us “are not to be compared with the joy that is to come.” Sort of speed bumps or rumble strips about which I posted a blog on February 21, 2017. (See archives)

It's a matter of being a little off balance. I'm no longer steady on my feet because of the deterioration of nerves in my feet caused by gradual but now severe non-diabetic polyneuropathy—which in turn is caused by an age-related deteriorating disc at L5 in my spine. Enough of the details.

Polyneuropathy is a big number word (so remember that for Scrabble) to explain that my feet feel numb and they are not so good at notifying my brain exactly where I'm stepping. It increases my danger of stumbling and falling.

Since nothing can be done to rejuvenate those nerves once they have deteriorated, my neurologist instructed me not to go anywhere without my “walking stick” aka cane, or as my physical therapist calls it, my “steady companion.” The purpose is for balance. Would you believe, I have to learn to walk again with a “third leg” and I must work on strengthening muscles in my lower extremities—a PT routine I'm working on. 

I realize that I have some psychological/emotional aspects to adjust to, specifically to change my rushing around lifestyle. I've been cautioned repeatedly to start slowing my pace. I admit to reluctance but now I have to. “He [the Lord, my Shepherd] maketh me....” (Psalm 23:2). Whether I do it voluntarily or am made to do so is up to me. I guess I've reached that second option. I don't think I want to grumble or complain about or resist what is inevitable. I intend to consider my new, unanticipated situation as “green pastures” and “quiet waters” for the purpose of “restoring my soul.” 

Of course there are some things I might have to give up. I won't need to walk the dog. (I don't have a dog anyway!) I won't be able to run marathons. (That was never my ambition!) I will have to give up my dream of parachuting out of a plane. (Not in my wildest dreams did I have that nightmare!) But there are dozens of things I can certainly still do! Me and my "sugar cane...."

I'm planning to look upon my cane not as a symbol of my weakness or inability but as a sweet “sugar cane” and “boast about my weakness that the power of Christ may dwell in me.” I want to cash in on all the rest of the goodies the apostle Paul discovered were the flip side of God not answering his prayer to remove the “thorn in his flesh” ( 2 Cor. 12:7-10). (But in the case of my thorn, I just don't feel it!”)

My "sugar cane" didn't hinder me from reaching my self-imposed deadline today (August 23, which would have been our 70th wedding anniversary!) to complete the final editing of my forthcoming book, Writing For the Supreme Editor.  Now the new book with which I was "pregnant" this spring and summer is reaching "full term" and goes into the hands of my son Rick for production.

So it's a good thing, always good, whatever the Lord permits or gives. I think I'm going to meditate on Paul's experience in depth to squeeze every bit of power and balm for my new state of affairs. It does pack a wallop for all of us who inevitably hit brick walls in life that we can't do anything about. God makes a way through when there doesn't seem to be a way. Often He shows us how to change our attitude, simply to accept what He gives us, and let Him do a new thing, turn an arid desert experience into a place of refreshing springs. (Isaiah 43:18-21)

There's an analogy here too. As we become older, we are prone to get out of balance in our walk with the Lord. Each of us knows what that means in our own lives. We must be ever so vigilant not to become gradually numb to the ways that we knew were displeasing to God in our earlier years and now have become lax in our spiritual walk. We are prone to stumble and fall. We may need to sign up for some spiritual PT, if necessary. But I'll leave that to develop in a later blog post. From time to time we may need to “take a selfie” photo of ourselves (that's not me in the photo, although on my recent birthday I made the decision not to continue to color my hair anymore! I'm joining the prestigious gray hair club, if they'll allow me in. I think a cane might just be the right password.).

Oh, this new experience has its perks—I was issued a handicapped placard to enable me to park closer to my destination. And it's amazing how seeing that I carry my “sugar cane” causes some people to hurry and open a door for me! Thank you! 


One thing I haven't yet learned to manage—Imagine this scenario: it's raining and I've opened my umbrella, I've slung my purse over my shoulder, my “sugar cane” is in my right hand, I have a package in my left, the railing to hold on to is on my right—and I have a couple of steps to climb before I try in vain to hold everything and open the entrance door to the medical building where I go for PT—well, that's a dilemma for a juggler! I have a “third leg” now, but not a third arm!

*****