From time to time I take a
peek at my “Bucket List.” By definition that is an actual or
imaginary list of what one hopes to do or be or where one hopes to go
in one's lifetime. It is ever-changing.
When
I was a child, my little toy pail was full of short term childish
wishes. In youth, with stars in my eyes, my
Bucket List held dreams. In adult life it was full of goals and hopes
and plans. In prime of life I began to cross off from the List some
concrete achievements and also some things that I had to admit were
no longer realistic.
Now
in my summit years I examine what remains on my Bucket List. Is my
bucket empty because I have been there and done everything? Have I
given up on some things that I should have attempted? Should I still
press on to accomplish what's left in my bucket?
I should ask myself, “Who put
those items on my Bucket List? Did I do it for self-centered reasons? Were they the expectations
of others for me?” As a Christian I should ask at any season of my life,
“Have I consulted God for the contents of my life Bucket List? Or am I
simply on an ego trip? Are there things that should not even be on my
Bucket List? Are there important things I have omitted?”
In rural China, I have
seen two heavily loaded buckets being carried by one person. A long
pole is suspended across the shoulders and two buckets in balance are
hung on each end of the pole. It might take two buckets to contain
all that some of us would like to accomplish in one lifetime. There
is nothing wrong with having personal goals, wishes, desires, dreams, and ambitions. It is good and right to fill up one bucket with that kind
of list.
Nevertheless, I should
balance it in the other bucket with a list of God’s priorities
and purposes for creating me. One bucket may contain worthy
temporal desires; the other, eternal values and desires in sync with
the will of God. They should not really balance—God's bucket
should be the heaviest!
Although there have been many ups and downs and joys and sorrows, the Lord has given me a
long lifetime of fulfilled desires of my heart. God’s storehouse of
goodness and mercies has overflowed to me. I have traveled the world.
I have served the Lord with gladness for many decades. I delight in
my relationships, in my many friends, my grown children, my grandchildren, and my great-grandchildren. My cup is running over. I
couldn't even count His blessings to me by the bucket full—more
like by the barrel!
I shouldn't be concerned
with whether I have accomplished all I want to do from
my Bucket List. I should rather ask God, “Is there still something
remaining in Your Bucket List for my life that would please You? If so, show
me how to fulfill it!”
WELL, YES! I found something that I had
relegated to the bottom of my personal Bucket List as an improbability. It jumped to the
level of a priority, and I think it would give God pleasure. I would like to visit my hometown in Iowa once
more and touch my roots.
Yes, I'm keenly aware that I will miss my parents
and many relatives and friends who have departed this
life. That will tug on my heart. I can expect that my emotions may be poignant on such a nostalgic journey down memory lane.
Certainly, places of my childhood and growing years have changed
until they are nearly unrecognizable. The warm, beloved, family bungalow of my
childhood days is a rental house now. The “earth suits” (bodies) of the
friends and relatives who remain have grown weathered and weary with the years.
I'll have to squeeze visits between their doctor appointments or in
some cases visit them in care facilities.
I realize that in a sense you can never
“go back,” so I'm scaling back high expectations. Nevertheless, I feel a need to
experience once more the place of my birth ninety years ago. I
believe my desire to touch home base is a God-planted wish. The
timing for this pilgrimage seems to be right. I feel that it is meant to be. My contacts
with people at this moment in both of our lives will not
be random; we will touch one another for some purpose.
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